Before I begin, I want to say that today’s notes are not particularly pleasant in nature.
I feel like I should apologize in advance—I sincerely hope this doesn’t upset anyone.
The eye-catching image this time is from Episode 2, Take 2—the first pages of the revised storyboard.
It depicts a young girl suffering amid war.
Throughout the story, a world in turmoil is a recurring theme.
And in response, the protagonist takes action. That’s the core of the narrative.
Because of this, the portrayal of civilians affected by war becomes necessary.
That’s why scenes like the one in the eye-catching image exist.
Main Topic
I briefly mentioned this in my last notes, but there is an episode about “protecting a ship from an iceberg.”
The premise is that a ferry is stranded in an ice-covered sea, struggling to survive.
The reason?
Because of the war, essential ship parts have been diverted to the military industry, leaving civilian maintenance neglected.
This was an important element in the story, so I included it.
At a glance, it’s just another plot point.
But some people might find it eerily familiar—
I’m referring to a real-life maritime disaster from a few years ago.
It was a tragic event that resulted in many casualties and shook the world.
Of course, I did not base this episode on that disaster.
I would never do something so thoughtless or disrespectful.
However, as I was writing the scenario, I realized that it evoked a sense of déjà vu—
And I wondered if that real-world tragedy had left a lasting impression on me without my conscious awareness.
I struggled with this.
So, I rewrote and altered many details to ensure that the episode would not resemble that real event.
I changed it significantly, and the version I have now is the result of that effort.
As a creator, I feel it is my responsibility to make sure my work doesn’t hurt anyone.
Even if it’s fiction, I must not create something that brings pain to real people.
Because of this, I made major revisions and, even though the story still only exists in script form,
I shared bits and pieces of it through blog posts and X (formerly Twitter).
But after sharing it, I started doubting myself.
“Should I have scrapped this episode altogether?”
“Should I have erased it before it ever saw the light of day?”
“If there’s even a chance that it will make someone sad, then maybe it shouldn’t exist at all?”
I shared these thoughts as well.
But at some point, it started to feel like I was making excuses.
A Past Struggle
A long time ago, I drew a manga about a young girl who was bedridden from birth due to illness.
Back then, I had the same inner conflict.
“I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“But at the same time, I can’t prevent it completely.”
I wrestled with that contradiction.
But then—what does “struggle” really mean?
If I’m still “struggling” over this, doesn’t that mean I’m already making excuses for myself?
I Have No Answer
I’m writing this, but I still don’t have a conclusion.
There’s a warm, flowing pulse of blood inside me.
That’s why I create.
That’s why pain spills out from every corner of my being, and I know that pain can also hurt others.
What is this feeling?
Why does my expression—something that comes from a place of sincerity—still end up hurting someone?
It is never created out of malice.
Never with the intent to wound.
And yet—it still happens.
Why?
A Line from My Own Script
“Have confidence in your own expression.”
This is a line spoken by a character in my script.
It appears naturally, without me even realizing it at first.
That’s it.
If I feel—even for a second—that my work might hurt someone,
If I hesitate, even by one millimeter,
Then whatever I’ve made cannot be something I can proudly stand by.
If I am to create, I must do so with confidence.
If I am to depict my own warm, flowing blood,
Then I must refine it into something beautiful.
If I fail to do that—
Then it is not a “work of art.”
It is just an outpouring of raw emotion.
And if that’s the case—
Do I even have the right to call myself a creator?
A Sudden Realization
As I write this, I feel like I’ve stumbled upon something profound.
As for the script—
I will rewrite that part again.
I was already planning to revise it completely, so this only solidifies my resolve.
And above all—
I am so relieved that I caught this before officially presenting my work to the world.
Thank you, truly, for always reading.
(Additional Notes – 1/23)
For the sake of record-keeping, I’ll note this here.
The script excerpt I mentioned earlier—“Have confidence in your own expression.”
The next lines are:
“That feeling itself is art.”
“It is the power to move people.”
…I really wrote something profound, didn’t I?
I poured my very life into it.
When I wrote that scene, I was literally hovering between life and death in a hospital bed.